The Grey Fox Motel
by melpomene-muse of tragedy
Summary: SG1 spends the night in a motel where everything from old movies, to teammates, to buttered popcorn conspire to keep them awake


Disclaimer: Don't own SG-1.(Though I wouldn't mind owning one or two of the actors...)

Authors Note: My first fan fic. Set in Season 1

* * *

The Place: The Gray Fox, an Inn with a prestigious name and reputation and a surprisingly inexpensive price which turns out to be highway robbery as the place is a rundown firetrap that's been for sale by two or three owners over 15 years.

The Time: 1045

Captain Samantha Carter is sitting on the bed in her room going over her reports for tomorrow's meeting. The only trouble is it's not so much a meeting as a presentation.

and her speech is perfect, her report impeccable and there is nothing more she can do with them but drive herself crazy worrying that she should have said something a little differently. She places her speech in her briefcase, closes it, sets it beside the bed and picks up the TV Guide.

Sam sees one of her favorite old movies is on AMC. An Affair to Remember

She presses the "ON" button on the remote. Nothing. "Great" She grumbles, now she'll have to get up every time she wants to adjust the volume. She pushes the "Power"

button on the TV. Nothing happens. Sam groans this is even worse than a broken remote and the movie starts in four minutes! "O.k. Sam think" she checks the plugs, they appear fine. She pushes them in anyway, and once again pushes "Power" still nothing.

Sam grabs a bottled water, her motel key, and steps out into the hallway in search of a working television.

Sam stands in front of her door and looks to the right down the dimly lit hallway.

Option #1 Teal'c. She cannot picture watching An Affair to Remember with Teal'c.

He might interrupt her when something didn't make sense to him. He almost certainly wouldn't understand why she cried or why she enjoyed the movie when it made her cry…..

She turned left and stopped at the first door. Option # 2 Colonel O'Neill. She wouldn't have to explain anything to him. He understood women, or at least he understood that there were things he'd never understand about women. Jack would also understand her psychotic need to see the movie now that she knew it was on when if she hadn't known it wouldn't have made a difference.

She glanced at her watch. 3 minutes to 11:00. The movie would probably last a couple of hours…. A vision of being caught leaving her CO's motel room at 0100 flashed in her head. However unlikely, it would be just too embarrassing. Not an acceptable risk.

She walked on. Jack was probably using his TV anyway.

Option #3 Daniel. Now Daniel might not understand her need to see the movie but he wouldn't interrupt. Sure it would be embarrassing if anyone saw her leave Daniel's room but there were no regulations involved, Besides no one would think that she and Daniel…but Daniel was probably studying something. She would hate to interrupt. Especially considering how she felt when people interrupted her work…..

Option #4 Janet. Surely Janet would help her.

She _was_ a woman after all. Maybe she didn't have quite the same taste in movies but she'd understand. Being seen leaving Janet's room was no problem. The guys would know they were chick-flicking or girl-talking or talking about them….

"Sam" Janet sounded surprised. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, um…I was just…oh your watching TV."

"Yes, but I could turn it off if it's important" Janet sounded concerned.

"Oh no, it's just that my TV's broke and Affair to Remember is on…"

"Oh that's too bad. I'm watching Top Gun you can join me if you want."

"Oh, no, that's okay I'll just go, but thanks."

"Of course and if you change your mind you haven't missed the good stuff yet."

"Thanks 'night"

"Goodnight"

Sam checked her watch, less than two minutes. Maybe she should've watched Top Gun with Janet it was a good enough movie but it wasn't the one she wanted. Sam re-assessed her discarded options and headed to the room nearest Janet's.

"Sam?" Daniel sounded very surprised. " 's everything okay?"

"Oh Yeah, I was just wondering if I could watch your TV? Mines broken and there's a movie on I really wanted to see." She was talking really fast

"Um, sure of course." Daniel opened the door to invite her in. "The place is kind of a mess…" Daniel looked a little confused Sam blushed thinking how weird and illogical this was. "I have a chair." Daniel offered. The bed was covered with papers. Daniel had obviously been sitting in the chair until she showed up.

"Thank you Daniel." Sam was grateful; she must be crazy to be doing this to him over a movie. Daniel cleared a place to sit on the bed and continued going over his papers. Sam turned on the TV, got AMC, and settled into her chair. She really loved this movie.

* * *

Colonel Jack O'Neill was, as Sam suspected using his television but not quite in the same way as she'd thought. The screen had been covered with dust, Jack had drawn a face on it with his finger set the ashtray on it for a hat and was currently using the old motel stationary he'd found in a drawer to wad up in little balls and throw at it. "Take that Kinsey!"

He wasn't completely unaware of the fact that he was acting immature, he just didn't care. Sure his military training had taught him a fair amount of self-control and he used it when necessary. Jack just didn't happen to consider many situations necessary.

He didn't know how many officers he'd seen promoted above him for being 'well behaved'. Well they could have their jobs at the pentagon kissing up to the bureaucratic royalty he'd rather stay a colonel, heck he'd rather _resign_.

Another paper wad pitched at the TV. These trips to Washington brought out the worst in him. He hated politics and he hated politicians more. He didn't care if D.C was Sam's old stomping grounds. It was weird thinking of Sam at the pentagon rubbing shoulders with the brass. It was a little like thinking of Teal'c as First Prime of Apophis.

The Carter he knew didn't belong in Washington anymore than the Teal'c he knew belonged back on Chulak. They were SGC now. It was the way things were. The way they were supposed to be.

He wanted to go home, or to Minnesota maybe. Hang out at his cabin, do some fishing he wondered if he'd ever get Sam up there...He wished he was back at the mountain, or off world, anywhere but on his way to Washington. Whack….the paper bounced off the mirror and landed in the ashtray "Bull's-eye!" He felt victorious even though he hadn't really been aiming….

* * *

Dr. Daniel Jackson was getting tired. He couldn't sleep though, not with Sam sitting there crying into her Dasani over Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. He was getting nowhere on his research. Well….almost nowhere. Daniel had to admit the movie was pretty good. Maybe he should just give up and watch it. He figured they must get back together in the end but he was curious how and whether or not the woman would walk again. He sighed. Contrary to what some people said about him (and he did hear them) he enjoyed many things other than research but this…this was a new low.

* * *

Teal'c was in a deep state of kel'no'reem

* * *

Dr. Janet Fraiser was lying on her side channel surfing and humming "Take my breath away" the best movies were always over too soon. The Disney Channel was playing The Little Mermaid. It was one of Cassie's favorites. The first time she'd seen it she'd said Ariel was like Janet from the red hair to the beautiful voice. Janet smiled, it was the first time she'd been glad to have a bad singing voice, it had shown just how much Cassie loved her.

* * *

Sam dried her eyes. The movie was so beautiful. She was grateful to Daniel for letting her intrude. It hadn't been very thoughtful of her and he'd been really great just sitting there and not even mumbling to himself in cuneiform or one of those languages only he and a handful of professors could understand. Sam wondered how she could make it up to him. She wished she could stay for the next movie. She sighed. Clint Eastwood was so cool.

* * *

Daniel had seen the ending. He hadn't cried but it was really moving, he had to admit it was a good film. As for The Good the Bad and the Ugly he didn't know much about it. Except that Clint Eastwood was in it and Sam wanted to see it and it was starting in a few minutes. Daniel sighed. It _was _his room. She'd only asked to see the one movie she wouldn't ask to stay for a second. He didn't know what he was wasting time for; he stood up and grabbed his jacket

"I need coffee I don't know where I'll find it at 1 am but there must be something open, you can um, let yourself out or watch the TV whatever"

"Are you sure you're not too tired to drive?"

Daniel laughed wryly "Wide awake" and headed for the door "Back soon"

"Bye, Daniel"

Daniel massaged the back of his neck with one hand as he walked down the hall. Jack would've called him a sucker, and as much as he hated to admit it, Jack would've been right.

* * *

Jack had been trying to sleep for two hours. He'd lie on the bed for a while; listen to the radio, get up and pace the room. He threw paper wads again. Aiming at the mirror, smoke detector, ashtray, lamp, throwing over his shoulder and even juggling but he'd done it all so many times when he was bored they weren't the least bit challenging anymore.

What he needed was someone to talk to or something. He was also thirsty. He'd learned the value of water long ago but it got boring after a while, besides the water in this place would choke a horse. He grabbed his wallet off the beds and left the room. Worst case scenario he could always pace the halls for a change of scenery.

* * *

Daniel was almost outside before he realized that Dr. Fraiser had the keys for the rental car. He went back inside and up the stairs debating whether or not to disturb her. He stopped outside her door and heard something. The verdict, disturb her. Janet opened the door

"Daniel" Janet looked, well...surprised would be the mild way of putting it. "Is anything wrong?" He asked for the keys to the rental car. "Having trouble sleeping?" she asked.

"Just a little"

"You sure you don't want me to give you something to help you sleep?"

"No thanks, I just want some coffee."

"Coffee? If you drink coffee you'll never get to sleep."

Daniel sighed "Please Janet, I just want to get out of here, get some air, I'll drink decaf okay?" Why had he said that?

* * *

Janet smiled. Dr. Jackson was so much easier to influence than most of the people under her care. Military men could be the worst patients. She grabbed the keys and walked back to the door. Daniel appeared to be concentrating on something. Janet was suddenly filled with dread when she realized what he was doing. He was listening. Daniel smiled

"The Little Mermaid?" He looked amused by the embarrassment on her face.

Janet was defensive "It's Cassie's favorite"

"I know, she told me" Janet relaxed, she'd seen him caught up in Cassandra's enthusiasm before. He knew what it was like to see the wonder on her face... "You miss her a lot" Daniel voice pulled her from her reverie.

"Yes" she handed him the keys. "Decaf right?"

"Yeah, um, right" Daniel agreed reluctantly.

"Goodnight"

"'Night"

Janet sighed shut the door and went back to her movie. She wished she were home.

* * *

Jack stood in the hall wondering if he could possibly be the only one awake. He checked his watch. 0110. Definitely possible. He stopped to listen at his teammates doors.

Carter's was quiet. Probably sleeping like a baby before her big presentation. After all what did she have to be nervous about? She knew everything.

He wished he knew what was wrong with him. He just had to meet with a General Pal of Hammond's about some sort of personnel problem. He hated those kinds of meetings but there was nothing to be nervous about. Maybe he was just jittery about the whole Washington thing. Saying the wrong things, getting reporters killed… Damn it felt so underhanded. He'd killed hostiles, slaves who worked for them; he'd had to leave people behind, but seeing that reporter killed in a hit and run. There was nothing military about that, nothing excusable.

That reporter was the kind of guy the military was supposed to protect. A citizen exercising his right of free speech. A stupid citizen but a citizen nonetheless…There was sound inside Daniel's room. He wondered if Daniel would be mad if he bugged him again. That sounded like something Sam would say "C'mon Colonel go bug Daniel." Maybe she did say it. Nah. But she could've said it telepathically...He knocked and waited, prepared to make the appropriate wisecrack depending on the expression on Daniel's face.

His mind failed him when Sam opened the door. His first thought was that he'd gotten the wrong room, his second that he was sure he hadn't, his third thought was…well, horrifying, his fourth that the third was impossible, his fifth was….

"Colonel?" Sam was most definitely surprised.

"Carter? I thought this was Daniel's room." Translation, can you explain this?

"It is." She was blushing, why was she blushing? "My TV broke so I asked Daniel if I could watch his."

"You could've asked me. I might've been able to fix it."

"You know about TV's sir?" Why did she sound surprised that he might know something?

"Well, I don't know much about these new fangled color jobs but I'd have taken a shot at it"

Sam laughed "You want to come in?"

"Thanks" Jack walked into the room "but I only came to borrow a cup of sugar"

"Mmmm I think I'm out"

"Too bad, got any coffee?"

Sam shook her head "Daniel left a while ago in search of some"

"Ahhh the addiction. Still I'd rather have him hooked on coffee than some other stuff… Whatcha watching?"

"The Good the Bad and the Ugly"

"I love that movie"

"Really?"

"It's a classic. One of the greatest triple crosses of all time."

"What is it about betrayal that fascinates men so much?"

"Oh for crying out loud Carter it's a battle not a relationship"

"I was kidding"

"I knew that" The movie started back up. Jack sat down on the bed. He'd only missed the very beginning. Maybe Sam could remind him how it started during the commercial break.

* * *

Daniel had to drive around for 15 minutes before he found a dingy little café that was still open. He locked the car and walked inside. There was a bell on the door announcing his arrival. He hated those things. Except when there was no one out front. He hated "Ring Bell for Service" bells even worse. He ordered a cup of coffee decaf. The waitress seemed a little surprised

"Decaf?"

"_Yes_"

"Coming up" He really couldn't blame the waitress. He doubted many people ordered decaf this time of the morning. He wished he wasn't, he wanted caffeine. Why had he let Fraiser sucker him into that promise? Why couldn't he be more like Jack? Daniel shook his head. On the other hand maybe there were worse things than being a sucker. DAWN -as her name tag read- brought his coffee. Daniel thanked her, sipped it, and cringed. On the other hand…

* * *

Sam was refreshing Jack's memory on the beginning of the movie while Jack refreshed himself on her bottled water. There really was no limit to the man's boldness.

"You drank all my water"

"Sorry" Jack really did look apologetic "I was thirsty"

Sam sighed "Don't worry about it" What was the point? "I'll just drink tap water"

"I wouldn't"

"Oh great, Why not?"

"I tried the stuff; I think it's plumbed in straight from the pool."

"This place doesn't have a pool"

"Okay the Super 8's pool then"

"Yuck"

"Is there a Coke machine around here?"

Sam thought back to when they'd arrived. "Yeah we passed it on the way in"

"Great I'm going you wanna come?"

"Sure next commercial break I don't want to miss anything"

"I'm with ya there"

Teal'c opened his eyes. He'd been in Kel'no'reem since 10:00 when they'd arrived. He considered and decided to indulge in an activity he'd been told was a must for staying in motels on earth. Microwave popcorn.

Jack stood up "Ready?" it was halfway through the movie, the prefect time to go for drinks.

"Uh-huh but let's hurry okay"

Jack's eyes glimmered impishly "Race ya"

"You're on" Sam was in the lead and had gained by a precious three feet by having the inside track around a corner. Jack was picking up the pace and gaining on her. They'd both been holding out but not for long this was an all out sprint to the finish and if somebody had to slam headfirst into a wall to win so be it. Which is exactly what happened, or rather what it felt like.

"Ow"

"Are you injured O'Neill?"

"Teal'c?" Jack groaned. "Where did you come from?"

"I was right in front of you"

"Well, I didn't see you"

"Perhaps that is because you rounded the corner at too great a velocity."

Jack touched his nose and cringed "perhaps"

Sam came back from the snack machine grinning "I won"

"That doesn't count, I slammed into a wall"

"A wall?"

"I believe Colonel O'Neill is referring to me."

"Yeah, it's a figure of speech, what are you doing here anyway?"

"I was micro waving popcorn"

"Cool, got any extra?"

"I have not"

"Oh well, thanks anyway"

Sam stuck her head around the corner "Watch it Teal'c I think that's starting to burn. Jack are you coming?"

"Yeah be right there."

"Are you and Captain Carter late for something?"

"I hope not, see ya later" Jack walked off searching his pockets for change. Teal'c took his popcorn out of the microwave

"You did not see me when you ran into me"

Jack stopped in his tracks "Did you hear that?"

Sam looked up from the snack machine "What?"

"Teal'c sounded like he had attitude"

"Attitude?"

"Yeah, Like sarcasm or something" Jack dumped coins into both the coke and snack machines simultaneously

"Wow" Sam marveled "And here I thought you'd cornered the market on that"

Jack raised an eyebrow grabbed his coke and candy bar and strode out Sam following.

"Hey Colonel?" She sounded thoughtful

"Hmm?"

"Race ya" She broke into a run.

"Hey that's cheating!"

* * *

Daniel staggered into the motel. He'd been drinking his third cup of coffee when he'd realized how hungry he was. It was morning (albeit very early morning) so he ordered pancakes they were made from scratch using old Mrs. Van Horns recipe, and served with blueberry syrup. They were delicious. He ate a whole plateful. Then whatever those pancakes were made of sank to the bottom of his stomach like a ton of bricks. He felt like he was gonna die. He slowly made his way up the stairs and walked past the niche with the vending machines and the microwave.

"Teal'c?"

"Daniel Jackson, I did not hear you approach"

"Hi, Teal'c what are you doing?"

"I am micro waving popcorn."

"Oh, great"

"Are you feeling all right Daniel Jackson?"

"Oh, I'm okay I just need to go back to bed, get some sleep….."

"Are you sure you do not need assistance."

"What? Yes I'm sure, just enjoy you're popcorn" Daniel walked away. He was going to die. He stopped in front of Janet's door. He really didn't want to bother her again not at 3:30 in the morning….he knocked anyway. Janet answered after about the fourth time. She looked exhausted

"Daniel?" but she didn't sound surprised anymore. Space aliens probably wouldn't have surprised her anymore. Actually that was a bad choice of words… "What's wrong?"

"I ate something"

"You drank decaf?"

"Yes just like you wanted but I ate pancakes and I feel like I'm dying"

"Here try this stuff"

"Maalox?"

"Trust me" she spoon fed him a tablespoon and then gave him the bottle "If that doesn't work you can take one more spoonful but only one more okay?"

"Got it. Thanks Doctor Fraiser"

"You're welcome Dr. Jackson."

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

Daniel dragged to his room opened the door and stopped dead in his tracks. His papers had been collected off his bed and unceremoniously dumped on the TV table. Jack was stretched out on the bed fast asleep, Sam was lying across the foot of the bed by his feet sleeping through whatever western was on now, and there were what looked like a day's wages worth of soda cans and candy bar wrappers all over the floor, but Daniel was suddenly too tired and sick to care. He turned the television off, took Sam's key off the table where she'd left it and went to her room, to sleep.

* * *

Janet heard a buzzing noise in her left ear. She swatted at it but it wouldn't stop. Gradually it pulled her out of sleep and she realized it wasn't a bug but the cheesy motel alarm clock.

"Oh darn it" She sat up. Her head was all fuzzy. She needed desperately to go back to bed. In fact if she was one of her patients she'd prescribe several more hours sleep, a long bath, take the day off… She stood up and headed for a quick shower instead.

Janet got out of the shower, packed and double checked the room to make sure she had everything. She did, everything except the Maalox.

* * *

Daniel rolled over and grabbed the receiver

"Mmnh Wha?"

"Your wake up call sir."

Wake up call? He hadn't asked for a wake up call

"uhn thanks"

"Have a nice day Mr. Carter"

"Yeah you too." Daniel hung up. Mr. Carter? He looked at the nightstand. Lamp, phone, Maalox, briefcase on the floor, and the suitcase over on the table was one he'd seen Sam carrying yesterday. Daniel groaned. Now he remembered everything.

* * *

Janet left her room shutting the door behind her. She figured SG-1 should be up and ready to go by now. She decided to stop at Daniel's room first to get her Maalox, not that she couldn't let him pack it with his stuff but she liked having everything she needed or might need with her, and knowing exactly where it was. She was walking to Daniel's room when she noticed something outside a door farther down the hall. It looked to be about where Teal'c's room was. As she got closer she could make out the form. Teal'c? What on earth was going on? Teal'c opened his eyes.

"Doctor Fraiser"

"Teal'c? What on earth are you doing on the floor?"

"I was unable to open my door. My body was ill with the disease in this place and with this…." he held up an empty popcorn bag and said disdainfully "Microwave popcorn" He stood up. "I have reached Kel'no'reem" he slammed his fist into the door to his room and it popped open "I am well now."

Janet smiled wanly "That's great Teal'c" Ordinarily Janet would be in her lab by now trying to figure out why popcorn or the butter substitute made Teal'c sick, instead she had to figure out what to do about the door… Janet heard Sam's door open behind her and breathed a sigh of relief. She turned, ready with a cheerful "Good morning Sam Mr.Teal'c just broke in his door" But the words died on her lips when she saw that the figure emerging from Sam's room was not the Captain in dress uniform for her presentation, but a bedraggled Daniel.

* * *

Daniel rubbed his eyes behind his glasses consequently smearing the lenses. He saw Janet standing in front of Teal'c's doorway. She looked surprised to see him. Not surprising considering he was coming from the room of his one and only female teammate.

"Good morning Janet Doctor" Daniel grimaced, that hadn't come out right at all.

"Good morning doctor Jackson" She was laughing at him. He could hear it in her voice. It would've been expected from Jack or even Sam who obviously laughed at everything if she laughed at Jack's jokes but, a doctor's supposed to be sympathetic. Not to mention the fact that his condition was partly her fault for making him drink decaf….

His attention was drawn to Teal'c's door which at first glance looked fine but there appeared to be something wrong with the lock….

"What happened?"

"To you?"

"No, the door"

"Mister Teal'c broke it in"

"W-Why?" Daniel squinted, took his glasses off wiped the lenses on his shirt and put them back on.

"He got locked out"

"This morning?"

"No last night"

"So he broke the door in last night?"

"No, he slept in the hall last night and broke the door in this morning."

"As soon as it was possible to get help"

"Yes"

Daniel sighed

* * *

Teal'c had gathered his very few things together and changed his clothes. He opened the door to find Daniel Jackson and Dr. Fraiser standing there. He looked down at the lock "I believe I may have damaged the door Daniel Jackson"

"Yeah, I believe you may be right."

"Perhaps I should have waited for someone more familiar with this technology." Daniel rubbed his forehead

"Don't let it bother you Teal'c, I'm sure Jack would've done the same thing"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and out of the corner of his eye saw Janet looked at Daniel. Surprised.

* * *

Daniel didn't notice the way they were looking at him. He was looking down the hallway for someone to give the door situation to. He wasn't in the mood. "Have either of you seen Jack or Sam yet?"

"I have not"

Janet looked at him strangely "You haven't seen _either_ of them?" there was something in her tone Daniel didn't like, but he ignored it since before long she'd get the whole story, preferably from somebody else.

"I hope they didn't sleep in" Daniel mumbled walking down the hall with Janet and Teal'c following. "I forgot to set my alarm clock"

"Daniel?" Janet was obviously confused and maybe a little bit concerned that he wasn't making any sense.

"I know it sounds….odd but I can explain everything." He stopped at his door. "I think"

He knocked, and when he didn't get an answer he opened it with his key and walked in.

* * *

Sam heard a knock on the door and woke up. She sat up quickly and yelped as she was jabbed in the side by the heel of Jack's boot.

* * *

Jack heard Sam's cry and was immediately awake and on his guard. Sounds of pain and surprise woke him like no mere crash in the night would. He opened his eyes jerked up banged his head on the headboard closed his eyes and groaned in pain. "Carter?"

"Yes sir?"

"Just checking" Jack rubbed his forehead "Ow"

"Are you all right sir?"

"Yeah I'm fine, what time is it?"

"Holy Hannah"

"That bad huh?"

"We seriously overslept sir."

"No kidding"

"Daniel?" Sam sounded startled.

Jack wondered for a second how he got in, then remembered it was his room. Jack muttered "Oh great" under his breath

Sam started apologizing. "Daniel I'm really sorry about this I didn't mean to you should have woke me up."

Daniel interrupted "Don't worry about it Sam" He held out her key.

Sam took it. "What's this?"

"Your key, I um, slept in your room."

"Oh good I was afraid you'd slept in the hall or something"

"No Captain Carter it was indeed I who slept in the hall"

Jack felt dazed. "What?"

Daniel shrugged "it's another long story"

"Though," Janet interjected "probably not as interesting as this one."

Sam blushed.

Jack stood up "Oh don't get your hopes up Doc, it's pretty simple actually" He took a step forward and crunched a candy bar wrapper under his foot. An empty soda can rolled across the floor. "I'll be glad to tell you the whole story but first, does anyone know where my room is?"

* * *

EPILOUGE

General George Hammond found his best, not to mention his favorite, doctor in the Infirmary. "Dr. Frasier, it's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back sir."

"I thought you were taking today off after your trip to Washington."

"I did. You see I'm here as a patient." Janet smiled wryly.

Hammond looked sympathetic. "That bad was it?"

"Not really sir. SG-1 is going to be fine"

"Going to be?"

"They just need some sleep. What I don't understand is how we can send them anywhere and put them through anything and for the most part they just bounce back. They're always ready to go on their next mission, usually before I'm ready to let them and one trip to Washington…." Janet's voice trailed off.

"One trip to Washington what Doctor?"

"Gets them _stressed_. I think its adrenaline, the fight or flight hormones are released and then not needed. Without an outlet they just…"

Hammond interrupted "Doctor were you able to keep them out of trouble like I asked you to or not?"

"Well I can hardly take credit sir but they didn't disgrace you. Captain Carter's been invited to come back anytime, Dr. Jackson took Mr. Teal'c sightseeing…"

"How did that go?"

"There was only one incident, someone asked Dr. Jackson what planet he was from."

Hammond smiled.

"Oh, Colonel O'Neill hasn't said much about his meeting but he described it as successful although it left him with an acute case of thought-with-hold-itis."

"With what?"

"That was the term he used. He claims there are physical repercussions when he goes too long without speaking his mind"

"You know, with the colonel I can almost believe that."

Janet nodded "I know what you mean sir"

"So is there anything you haven't told me yet?"

"Nothing worth mentioning sir."

"How about telling me something that isn't worth mentioning"

"Like what General?"

"Like whatever it is your not telling me."

"Believe me sir it's nothing important. I'd just be wasting your time."

"You have permission to waste my time Doctor"

"Yes sir. We left the airport checked into the motel. Colonel O'Neill disappeared in the middle of the night which he evidently spent with Captain Carter. Dr. Jackson left in the rental car and didn't' return until around four am in need of medical attention, and Teal'c was accused of destroying motel property, but we worked everything out and still made it to the airport in time for our flight. So everything's fine..."

Hammond was shocked. "Everything's fine? O'Neill and Carter..."

"…were apparently trying to last through a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western marathon." Hammond barely kept from laughing. "And Dr. Jackson?"

"Had a bad case of truck stop heartburn."

"Teal'c?"

"Locked himself out of his motel room so he broke in the door. We charged the damages to the expense account."

The General nodded. "Good, but where were you when all this was happening?"

"Me? I was…I was umm"

A voice came out of nowhere "She was watching 'The Little Mermaid'"

"Daniel!"

Daniel smiled evilly and lifted his coffee mug. "No more decaf for this boy. Goodbye General, Ariel." Daniel wandered off.

Hammond was confused he turned to the shocked Janet. "Did you tell me SG-1 was perfectly normal?"

"No sir, I said they would be back to normal after..." she was interrupted by Jack scurrying down the hall on his hands and knees with a leash around his neck; Sam followed behind him jerking the leash and scolding.

"Bad dog Bozo. Heal. Bozo _HEAL_." Jack growled. Hammond and Fraiser stared after them and spoke in unison.

"After they get some sleep."

**THE END**


End file.
